Busting out the Begonia Blocks

After rumaging through my stash, weighing my skeins, and doing some math I finally finished crocheting all my blocks for the blue skies afghan. The last block was called Begonia, and I really loved the dramatic flower in the center.  I am ecstatic to be done with these blocks, but I still have a way to go for a finished product.  As I write I have begun blocking the blocks.  I am hoping next month to begin the process of putting them together (more crochet).  In the meantime, I am enjoying not crocheting and working on knitting projects. 


One of the bittersweet things about this project has been using my stash of Mission Falls yarn. The colors have been beautiful to work with and I have fallen in love with this brand all over again.  Sadly, as this yarn is no longer manufactured, I am using up the last of my stash of this yarn.  My friend Suzanne has said people are holding on to this yarn and taking it to the grave. 



I used all but maybe 18 inches of the lavender.  The last block was a real nail biter, but I went down to a smaller hook and used almost every last scrap of the yarn.  When I made it to the end of the last block I got up and did a little victory lap around my living room.  It feels good to see my stacks of finished blocks.

5 Years and Counting

My Dad in his late 20s.

Today is the 5 year anniversary of my dad's passing.  I have spent the past years re-living those final hours of his life.  To see someone so strong so destroyed by this disease was worse than anything I had ever seen before.  All ideas of Christian grace gone.  It was horrific.  And yet when people said to me, his passing was a relief from the pain, I wanted to scream at them why did he have to suffer at all.  I still carry such anger and pain at this vile thing called cancer and if I pray for anything it is that there is a cure so no one suffers as he did.  After the anger is the hole from the loss of someone so important to me.  I move forward and make the new normal without him, but know I still cry when I think of all the things I can no longer share with him.  Grief is not about stages, it is about forcing yourself forward when with every inch you leave the life you shared with your loved one behind.  Sad day, sad thoughts.