Public Service Announcement About Sticky Fly Traps

Over the weekend we bought these sticky fly traps to help us with the mosquitoes which are eating us alive in the back yard.  We have a drain under the back porch and we have been pouring some chemicals in the drain to kill the evil little bugs, but still they are still thick.  We thought that these traps would help.  However, after 24 hours the only thing it caught was one large woman.  I was trying to unstick a wind sock, which got caught on the trap, and in the process the trap got stuck to my arm.  When I pulled it off my arm it flipped back and hit me in the chin and then landed on my shirt.  It took some effort to remove the damn thing from my shirt.  It took even more effort to remove the sticky residue from my person.  When I poked the now destroyed fly trap, stuck to the patio, not a bug was on it.  Apparently, it was designed to trap silly, middle-aged, lesbians.