Anniversary

Some things I would rather not celebrate, but today is an anniversary I wish I did not remember. Today is the one year anniversary of quitting my job at silly hall. I think about what I did, leaving at lunch and instead of returning to work I e-mailed in my resignation. I had no job or even job prospects waiting for me. It was intense and very stressful. Add that to my surgically forced menopause and I have been sad. Okay really sad. I wish I could say it has been great to walk away from an abusive work situation, and my life has been awesome since, but I would be a big-ass liar. Yet upon reflection I ask, if I could go back,would I do it exactly the same? No of course not. I would not have cried for 3 days straight after quitting. I had already decided to leave and being humiliated and belittled everyday was not worth the salary. So I still would have left. But the major change would be that I would have called in sick for the afternoon, and then quit the next morning. I lost 4 hours of sick leave by being so rash. In the future I will make sure to use up as much sick leave as I can before leaving a job. Also I will not apologize for leaving a place where I was emotional abused, spied on, and ask to turn in my dignity every moment I was there. I was right to leave and no amount of looking backwards will change that.
The year has been hard. I have made less and worked hard for my measly check, but I do have my dignity. I am lucky, I have an awesome support network of friends who have held my hand and helped me in this dark period. I would be lost without their love. I am not one of those people who believe that change is good, and that it makes us better, but I am surviving. I will live and things will change again and I will do better.