Sunday, February 13, 2011

And the Beat Goes On

This year one of my goals was to blog at least once a week.  Well, sometimes goals aren't met and life goes on.  Everything goes on, there is just no holding it back.  So it is with me.  The world keeps revolving on it axis and I am forced to continue with my struggle with grief.  I am looking at the one year anniversary of my father's death and I feel as if I have spent the last year watching him die everyday. 

Somedays, like today, it is the thought Dad will be out on his motorcycle enjoying the strawberry spring today.  Then like a blot on the day, I remember he is gone and his motorcycle lives under a tarp.  Other days it is the memory of an event like this time last year my dad held my hand and told me he loved me for the last time.  In either case it is a tailspin into grief. 

I do try to put things in perspective and recognize this is the way of life and that nothing I am going through is unique.  These feelings and situation are all apart of the human condition.  I am on my journey and I though I am trying to take the route of acceptance and peace, somedays, I just make the wrong turn and end up here.  Stalled out, wishing my dad would come and pull me out of the mess I have got myself in.


Charade said...

What a beautiful expression of grief. And I hope for you that, even though the loss never abates, the grip of grief will loosen its fingers. Write more, especially about the special-ness (is that a word?) of your relationship with your dad.

Tempest ina Pot of Tea said...

Thank you for your kind words, somedays are just harder than others.