$200, 2 Hours, and 1 Broken Nail Later, Or Going to Costco

I know I owe you dear reader the final chapter of 3 Weddings and a Trip to Iowa, but I just got back from Costco and feel a little careworn.  Let me outline my excursion to Costco and you may feel I have earned a brief respite from responsibility.

I needed to go to Costco because I am running a little low on essentials and they kindly sent me a coupon flier.  With my paycheck recently deposited I headed to the warehouse of wholesale prices, my shopping list engraved on my brain.

Trying to think smartly, I decided to gas up first because I know I will be too exhausted afterwards to save 7 cents a gallon on gas.  After waiting my turn I fill up and move on to parking.  I parked about 20 yards from the pump because the lot was packed.  I knew this was going to be a busy day for warehouse shopping. 

Sighing, I grab my enormous shopping bags and go.  I no more than flash my membership card and my bladder decides I need a trip to the women's room which is of course on the other side of the store.  Leaving my cart I take care of business and of course have to go back out and get a new cart because my old one is gone.  To get back in I have to flash my membership card again. 

Hardcore grab and go shopping is on my mind, I head immediately all the way back to the cheese section and then move on to fruit.  Just out of fruits I start looking for the coupons.  No coupon book.  Yup, I left it in the car.  Leaving my cart I run back out to my car, pick up the coupon book, head back in, and of course flash my membership card again.

And you guessed it I go back to my cart to find it gone (glad I took my shopping bags with me).  There I am back to go, collect another cart, and of course flash my membership card again.

Back to cheese and fruit and on to freezer section for me.  After dodging other shoppers, small children, and the very friendly demo staff I have finished my scavenger hunt for couponed items and I am in line to pay.  Of course I am in the wrong line.  I always pick the wrong line.  I notice my error about halfway through unloading my cart, that was the moment when I notice my clerk has his arm up the money tube.  Apparently, the plastic money bin is stuck in the tube.  After he and another clerk use a stick to unwedge the bin my clerk has to walk it to the office.  (I am not kidding folks).  The other clerk finally logs in and starts to finish with the customer in front of me.  I try not to judge people, BUT the customer in front of me waits for a total and then pulls out a check book.  Say what you will about debit card fees, but they are quicker.

So with purchases in cart I head to my car.  I bag up the items fill up my hatch and realize, yes I have to go to the women's room again.  I debate with myself and then back to the store I go.  And again I am asked to show my membership card.  I make the long trek to the facilities feeling like every employee there is thinking, "When will that bitch leave?"

At last I found myself at home parked and looking at the long walk to my house with enormous shopping bags full of army of children sized portions of bread and milk.  Somewhere on this shuffle inside I managed to break a nail and snag my shirt on the door. 

So I feel I have earned a respite from my chores to watch Top Gear and blog.