Hawaiian Vacation

Almost 10 years ago my wife and I took my mother to Hawaii for her 65th birthday.  As you can guess Hawaii is one of the prettiest places on the planet.  We saw big cities, small towns, beaches of all colors, volcanos, and of course 8 stunning sunsets and 1 amazing sunrise.  The trip was worth every penny (and that was a lot of pennies) we paid for it. 

Natalie and I at the Hotel in Waikiki.

When I was five I remember telling my mother one day we would go to Hawaii together,  The trip was my way of making good on that promise.  Always one to help me with my goals, Natalie stepped up and paid up for half of the trip.  We planned for a year (and paid for it about that long too).  We made a big surprise out of the trip and for once in my life I think my mother was happy.  The shared memory of that trip was one I have cherished.

Mom and Natalie on Maui

Fast forward 10 years and the trip has become a time before my father's death and the estrangement from my mother.  I have no regrets about the trip, but some of those moments have now become bittersweet.  I miss the woman who accompanied me on that trip and wish I could have some of the essence of that version of my mother back.



Mom and I in Waikiki

The good news is Natalie is still by my side, supporting me through this painful time.  I don't know how I got so lucky to have such a wonderful partner by my side, but I would be lost without her.  Thanking her everyday for picking me to fall in love with.



Natalie in the mouth of the whale on Maui

Day 9: Can We Talk

In that summer of misspent youth one night my friend, Debbie I went to the annual Crawford County fair.  We thought we were being very sneaky by walking around with Tupperware sippy cups filled with Boone's Farm Strawberry Hill.  About a sippy cup and a half into the evening we ran into Natalie and some of her friends from high school.  We stood under a tree for awhile just doing the usual loud, ruckus, teenage stuff.  I remember laughing, swearing, and finishing my cheap wine.  As the conversation rolled through the usual pop cultures references of the time we started in on Joan Rivers.
 
I hate admitting that once upon a time I thought Joan Rivers was funny.  Before all the plastic surgery and designating herself as the fashion police she was just wickedly funny.  Once Joan came up in conversation Natalie and I both said at exactly the same time, "Can we talk?"  We looked at each other, pointed at each other, and then laughed like loons.  That was the moment we connected and spoke each others language for the first time.   Every friendship has to start somewhere, and ours started in that moment. Blame it on the wacky 80s, but I have to thank Joan Rivers for Natalie.

So thank you Joan for giving Natalie and I the opening line to our relationship.  Who knew from this beginning we would be together 30 years later and celebrating the fact that 16 states have approved of same-sex marriage.  Welcome to the family of equality Hawaii.

Ashamed of Missouri, My Home State

Today I saw a heart-breaking article in the local paper about a same-sex couple.   One of the partners, a state trooper, was killed in the line of duty.  His partner of 15 years sued the state for death benefits.  The surviving partner has a son and the two men had been raising the child together.  The state Supreme Court upheld that in Missouri marriage is only between a man and a woman and since they could not get married the partner was not eligible for the death benefits. (http://www.stltoday.com/news/local/metro/missouri-high-court-denies-benefits-to-same-sex-survivor-of/article_9f33760e-ede1-5278-80b1-7e784edf0c0b.html )

I cannot refute that I live in a state which does not recognize my marriage to my spouse, but a law so discriminatory is wrong. I am still angry that a majority of my fellow Missourians got to define what my life should be. I did not get to vote on what heterosexual relationships could be.  Today I was reminded why I am ashamed to be from this state. 

As I type the state of Hawaii is deciding on allowing same-sex marriage.  The state has civil unions, but not marriage.  Some in Hawaii are arguing that same-sex marriage does not significantly improve the legality of same-sex couples in their state.  Furthermore, if same-sex couples want to be married for federal purposes they can just go to another state and get married.  Because it is just a hop-skip & a jump to California or Washington from Hawaii.  No driving 5 hours to Iowa for you, Hawaiians.

I want to send the legislators of Hawaii a link to the article about the Missouri couple with a note that says, "This is why you should vote yes on same-sex marriage."



Kelly Glossip, seated, and Dennis Engelhard pose for a portrait together.

To Kelly Glossip I send my heartfelt condolences for all that you have lost, but know you are not alone in your struggle to seek equality.

Much muchness

I look out my window and see snow, so I thought I would think of something tropical. This photo is one of my pictures from Hawaii. It made me think of a Hawaiian Christmas instead of the white one taking place outside. It is amazing that we always want what we don't have. If I was in Hawaii maybe I would be wishing for a white Christmas. Okay, that is a laugh because I would never want snow no matter what the holiday.

I have spent the last two days shuffling around in my jammies because I slept funny Thursday night and woke up in a world of hurt in my back on Friday. I did not even go to work, I couldn't put socks on. I thought about wearing sandals to work but realized they were on a shelf and my reaching ability was limited. I felt so bad I sent my girlfriend to LYS, Knitorious (www.knitorious.com) to save me from a bad yarn situation. I see her walking in very determined, but completely looking like a fish out of water going up to the yarn girl in charge and saying, "Help! Tempesttea needs more yarn." I am sure the head yarn girl smirked at that one. She has a clue how much yarn I have. Anyway, kudos to the LYS staff and my girlfriend, job well done. Second bracelet is progressing well. The village approach to solving yarn problems was a smashing success. Love you guys.