Hawaiian Vacation

Almost 10 years ago my wife and I took my mother to Hawaii for her 65th birthday.  As you can guess Hawaii is one of the prettiest places on the planet.  We saw big cities, small towns, beaches of all colors, volcanos, and of course 8 stunning sunsets and 1 amazing sunrise.  The trip was worth every penny (and that was a lot of pennies) we paid for it. 

Natalie and I at the Hotel in Waikiki.

When I was five I remember telling my mother one day we would go to Hawaii together,  The trip was my way of making good on that promise.  Always one to help me with my goals, Natalie stepped up and paid up for half of the trip.  We planned for a year (and paid for it about that long too).  We made a big surprise out of the trip and for once in my life I think my mother was happy.  The shared memory of that trip was one I have cherished.

Mom and Natalie on Maui

Fast forward 10 years and the trip has become a time before my father's death and the estrangement from my mother.  I have no regrets about the trip, but some of those moments have now become bittersweet.  I miss the woman who accompanied me on that trip and wish I could have some of the essence of that version of my mother back.



Mom and I in Waikiki

The good news is Natalie is still by my side, supporting me through this painful time.  I don't know how I got so lucky to have such a wonderful partner by my side, but I would be lost without her.  Thanking her everyday for picking me to fall in love with.



Natalie in the mouth of the whale on Maui

Wham Bam Mom is Knitting

My mom is an amazing crafter.  She sews, embroiders, quilts, and is just generally crafty.  As her daughter I have always had the will to do crafty things, but not always the skill.  When I started knitting it became something special to me.  Something different from my mom. 

Last Thanksgiving mom decided she wanted to make these knitted, ruffly scarves.  The yarn for these scarves comes with the loops already to knit with on the edge.  It truly was just a matter of teaching her to pull the yarn through the loops.  She liked making these scarves so much to date she has knitted 32. 

After all these scarves I knew she had the muscle memory to start knitting with regular yarn.  All I had to do was teach her to make her own loops.  Enter the Wham Bam Thank You Lamb Neckwarmer (http://www.ravelry.com/patterns/library/wham-bam-thank-you-lamb-neckwarmer).  The pattern is so easy and does not require the patience to knit a long scarf, or the shaping of a hat.  I would have to teach her a cast on, a bind off, and a full (loop and all) knit stitch.  I thought we were both up to the task.

I bought her some a soft, bulky, alpaca yarn and size 13 needles, I printed an extra pattern, and I was ready to go.  Saturday night with patience and attention I taught my mother to knit.  Yes, I actually taught my mother something.  She had trouble with the cast on at first, but with a few extra tries she mastered everything, but the that first stitch.  I kept saying, "Make a pretzel and put in the needle."  For some reason she never did see the little yarn pretzel.  However, everything else seemed to go well.  She caught on to tension and gauge very quickly.  And the cast-off was a breeze.
 

Mom in Her New Neckwarmer Knitting

I think she did great.  All in all it was a good experience for both of us.  I even sent her home with more yarn and a plan to make 2 more neckwarmers.  I am a little worried she will have problems.  Or maybe she will end up making 32 of these neckwarmers.  But mostly, I am worried she will get better at knitting than I am. 

Suwannee River Valley or Some Fine Ice Tea

Tis the season for much busy-ness.  Before things get anymore frenetic I want to do a wrap up our recent trip to Florida before it is too late to write about the experience.  Because I did have some experiences in the sunshine state.  I could talk about the weather, the lack of a beach, or the insane traffic in Gainesville, but I want to discuss shopping with my nearest and dearest.

My mother is a quilter, an amazing quilter at that, she loves looking at fabric, patterns, and specialty sewing machines.  When we travel with mom, a quilt shop or more like a half dozen is on the list of places we will visit.  I can't complain, because she gets it when I mention a yarn shop I want to visit.  We tried to find a quilt shop in Gainesville, but the one there was very disappointing.  In an effort to make amends we found one outside of town.  Thirty-one miles of country road later we found ourselves in Trenton FL at the Suwannee River Valley Quilt Shoppe and Cafe http://www.suwanneeshops.com/quiltshoppe.html). 

We arrived hungry and ready to find something worth the journey and remarkably we did.  My mom acted like a 7 year old in a toy store once inside, it took a few sterns looks to get her to put a lunch order in before she was off to browse.  Our waiter brought us a round of ice tea and I am here to say southerns get ice tea.  First, unless you tell them otherwise, the tea shows up sweet and always freshly brewed.  They know better than to brew it through a coffee pot, and they clean the tea urn at least once a day to keep it from getting that nasty rancid tang.  Southern tea is rarely too strong or watered down to carmel colored swill.  So when I say this to you, understand, I know good tea and the glass they put in front of me was easily in the top 5 glasses of tea I have ever had in my life.  I was in tea heaven.

The rest of lunch was equally as sublime.  My BLT tasty, broccoli salad yummy, and my bread pudding orgasmic.  I am glad the cafe of the quilt shop was mostly empty, because I made noises that would have frightened a feral cat.  Natalie indulged my multiple exclamations of exhalations and moans of pleasure.  We were both glad we had skipped IHOP for the cafe.

The shop and cafe were in an old Coke Cola building which had been rehabbed and filled with rooms of brightly colored bolts of fabric.  I think my mom must have made 3 tours of the store before deciding on her purchases.  While she shopped I drank tea, lots of tea and started up a conversation with a lady who had bravely decided to sit at the table across from me. 

The shop was worth everyone of those country road miles to Trenton.  My mom bought fabric, Natalie got whistled at by a parrot, and I was sated with good food, so we all left the shop happy.  While we walked back to the car a 1 ton truck drove by us and blew its very loud air horn.  The lady at the table across from me smiled and waved out the truck window as she drove away.  That is me making friends and drinking some fine ice tea.

Quilting Bee, Or Lucky Me

I know I keep pushing the luck thing, but you know I have been especially lucky since my birthday.  Not only did I get a beautiful wife, but my wonderful mother gave me one of her freshly minted quilts.  I spent the last year seeing this quilt lay around in various stages and then to see it in a big bag with the word "birthday" printed on the side, I was dumbstruck.  I know the hours and thought that went into such a lovely creation.  I could describe the quilt, but a photo is truly worth a thousand words.

Birthday Quilt



The blocks of flowers set with the pinks is so lovely and sooooo my mother.  The oval printed fabric in with the pinks and the flowers sooooo not my mother.  She in not an abstract oval print person, but she told me this fabric just jumped out at her and she thought it would be a good contrast to the pinks.  I say, and you can quote me on this, mom was right.  The quilt is a stunner. 

My mom has been working on quilts for years. She is actually what she calls a topper. She loves the process of finding a pattern, picking out the fabric, tweaking the pattern, and doing all the piece work.  Once she has the top pieced she usually sends it out to be machine quilted.  I love watching her as she goes through the stages of putting together a quilt.  She can hand quilt, but says for her the magic is in the piecework.  I don't care how we get to the end product I just love the results. 

This quilt is the second one of her creation I have blogged about ( http://tempestinapot.blogspot.com/2009/11/day-twenty-seven-gratitude.html ).  To be the recipient of another quilt is as I have said before, humbling.  All the time, money, and labor to hand something so precious over to another is a gift which has no price tag. 

Mom's signature on the back

As much as I love the top of my quilt; my favorite part is on the back.  My mother has started to "sign" her quilts.  I love that she is so ingenious to put her unique hallmark on the back of something I will cherish for the rest of my life.

Vacationing on Dauphin Island

Last week I was on a much needed vacation to Dauphin Island Alabama.  I went with my baby sister to see my mother who had been wintering there.  I love Dauphin Island.   Actually, I love any place that is warm and welcoming in the middle of winter.  I am sure there are more posh warm weather destinations, but the slower pace suited me fine.  Our hotel overlooked a bayou and at night I could walk over to dock and watch the stars while enjoying a night breeze.  I loved the break from my life.

The island has a civil war fort, a bird sanctuary, and lots and lots of gulf views of gulls, breakers, ferries, and oil rigs pumping up black gold.  Some places you could even see large pieces of equipment working on cleaning up some of that black gold that wrecked so much havoc on the gulf last year.  A part of me would love to live this kind life, but I know within a week I would feel trapped by this thirteen mile strip of land.

To break up the monotony we went to Mobile for a Mardi Gras parade.  The floats were wonderful as they rained beads, cups, masks, toys, and moonpies down on the crowds.  I caught many beads and a few moonpies.  This parade was probably the largest parade I have ever been to and honestly it wasn't really that big.  Mobile is very serious about their Mardi Gras season, apparently this parade was one of several.

I made it a point to get into the party celebration and be-decked myself with beads and a very fabulous pair of shades. 

Parades and sandy beaches aside the best thing about my trip was spending time with my mother and baby sister.  They are two of my favorite people and hanging out with them is always fun.  We shopped, we ate good food, and just enjoyed each others company.  Mom came home from her winter break and we are all at our respective homes with memories and some fun photos to remember our good times.  I love vacation.

Sorry No Pictures

I have not blogged for two weeks and I feel bad about that.  I try to blog at least once a week, but lately I have been struggling to find things I want to blog about. I am knitting, but I am in the middle of two projects (one at work, one at home).  Both are progressing at a sloth's pace. I want to be knitting socks, but I need to finish home project before going back to my sock pattern that I am currently obsessed with (lacy summer socks).  So nothing really to blog about there.

My large seven year old computer Penelope is not doing well.  She is not even moving at sloth's pace either.  My fears are that she will go to that great technological landfill at the base of Gasconade Street very soon.  I will be left with my little Penny, a netbook, which I am typing on now.  She is very portable and easy to use, but hard to use for photos and forget about installing MS Word on it, not enough memory.  I am struggle with inertia on this front and wonder, if one day I will come home and find Penelope has walked into the sun to end the misery.

My Mom has taken off to Sturgis SD on the back of one of my Dad's buddies motorcycle.  She has been gone a week, to camp, ride, and experience the things my Dad did on his motorcycle runs.  I can't imagine her camping and spending that much time on a motorcycle, she always hated doing those kind of things.  I will admit I was a little stunned by the plan and tried to talk her out of it.  She stayed strong and said she was going through with the trip.  After all these years my mother still confuses me.  I am left wondering why she never did this trip with my Dad, and why she wants to do it now.  Mothers are mysterious.

I think you can see why I have been so lax lately.  I will work harder to have a more interesting life in the next week.  Wish me luck.

Midwest Fiber & Folk Art Fair

Last weekend I went with my mom to a fiber event in North Chicago.  My mom came to me with this event and asked if we could go together.  Mom is one of those people with the itch to always be on the move.  The last two years she has spent a significant time at home taking care of my dad and their life.  Now she wants to go...just go about anywhere.  At first I said no because I had scheduling difficulties, but with a thoughtful co-worker I was able to say yes. My wife, my mom, and I took off Friday to experience fiber together.

The fair was fun with lots of fiber, accessories, and all things yarny.  I especially liked that the fair was in a very large air conditioned building.  It was a little overwhelming at first, but with a game plan we attacked the fair like seasoned fair goers. We looked first and then went back to buy, at least that was what we tried to do.  I saw so many cool things.  Spinning wheels with cool space age knobs, handmade soap in wool sleeping bags, triangular knitting needles made from old broom handles, pottery bells, buttons, public knitting projects and yarn.  Lots of yarn.

Needless to say I bought yarn, I bought buttons, I bought needles, I bought earrings, I bought.  My mom, who is not a knitter, enjoyed herself, but was ready to go after half a day.  I would have liked to stay and done some of the lectures, but mom was ready to find some quilt shops.  So off we went.  We had a really nice time together.

The trip home included a side excursion to my favorite place on the planet, IKEA.  We wandered through the beautifully arranged rooms.   I long to be the kind of person who could have all those clean clear surfaces uncluttered by a lifetime of junk.  So of course I felt the need to buy stuff to further clutter up my life, but you know that new green rug in my bathroom is beautiful!

I wish I could spend more time like this with my mom and my wife.  They truly are my favorite traveling companions.

Day Two: Gratitude

I am grateful today for my mother. As corny as it sounds, I would be lost without her. Growing up my relationship with my mother was conflicted. She was an obstacle to all the things I wanted to do and I was the constant force that pushed her at every turn. We were at war with one another. Despite being her adversary my mother always made sure I had clean clothes, new shoes, and hugs before bedtime. I would repay her by cutting up her wig, breaking the dishwasher, and generally being a brat. One of my best memories of my mother is lying in her lap while she would stroke my hair.

When I went away to college it was almost like overnight our relationship changed. We went from combatants to friends. Mom became one of my best friends and I cherish all the time we spend together. Sometimes I feel like Ethel to her Lucy when we travel together . I have been lost in the wilds of Ohio, been stuck waiting for the President, flown over volcanoes, and paid way too much for lunch while in my mother's company. Good times. Her talented and outgoing personality win her friends and admirers wherever she roams. I am lucky to be the daughter of such a woman.

With all the drama of the last year she has stayed strong, taking care of my dad, their business, and keeping up with most of her daily activities. Some days were hard and we consoled each other via AT&T, but we had each other and that made the difference. I love my mom and to be honest, I am so grateful she chose to have me as her daughter.

Michael Allen Ford

(Mike's Panel)

A long time ago, back in the nineties, I lost some of my friends to AIDS. They were bright, active men who had so much to give the world and sadly they died much too soon. One of these men was Mike Ford. Mike died younger than I am now, a very sobering thought when I look where I am in my life. Mike was tall and thin with a cheesy eighties mustache and deep voice. By day Mike was manager in a sporting goods store, but one night a week he did a radio program at a local public access radio station, "Coming Out of Hiding." He like to say it was, "The Queer Voice of St Louis." Mike and his friends put time and effort into producing an hour long show which could be reached by several far flung counties as well as the St. Louis Metro area.

(Mom's Signature Block)

Once Mike received a letter from a woman in one of these far flung counties. She told him that she had to hide who she was from her family. but once a week she put on her headphones and listened to his show. She said it was the only time all week she felt connected to who she truly was. There was no return address on the envelope and the only signature was an outline of her hand on the letter. Mike treasured this letter and it inspired him to work harder at reaching out to these deeply closeted listeners. Mike was not a perfect man, like the rest of us he had flaws, but he was committed to helping people come out.


(Mom under the panel)

So, I was surprised a couple weeks ago when at work I was confronted with the specter of Mike. Once a year the library I work for displays a small section of the AIDS Quilt ( http://www.aidsquilt.org/ ). I know I have looked for Mike's panel in the annual Quilt display before and it has never been there; this year it was. Mike's panel looks as vibrant and as fresh as it did when we donated it. My friend Dan wanted vivid colors to represent a larger than life person. None of us could sew and we wanted something special, something that stood out. My mother seamstress extraordinaire took the fabric and our requests for rainbows and radios and made it real. She put her best effort into it and stunned us all with her amazing skill. Recently, she made the trek to St Louis to see her handy work and commented, "It is holding up well." I snapped a few shots of her with the block for her to show her quilting buddies that she knows how to make something that will last.

For me this has been very humbling, making me question the choices I have made. I ask myself would Mike be proud of me? I am coming up short. Sorry Mike.

World Wide Knit in Public Day

Lately I have not been spending much time with my mother. I have been really busy and with gas prices being so high I just have not made it down to Hermann that often in the last year. Two weeks ago I received a newspaper clipping announcing an event for World Wide Knit in Public Day (WWKIPD) on Saturday June 14th. Despite knitting in public whenever possible, I thought this was an excellent idea to knit and see my mom at the same time. I got in my hybrid and drove down. The weather was gorgeous, the setting at the Hermannhoff Winery bucolic, and the company was perfect.
My mother is not a knitter so she brought her current quilting project and we met 4 new knitters. The group at Hermann is small, but large in spirit. They call themselves "Strings Attached." Marsha, the woman who spearheaded the event was working on these adorable little Swedish elves she makes with leftover sock yarn (very clever her). I am including a picture of this cute little creations.
My mother worked on a quilt project she called, "Making a Scarecrow." I snapped a picture of her hands working on the block. I love watching her work. She is just so damned good at it she makes this look so easy. She will have this project done in a few weeks and it will be so cutesy it will assail my senses, but the craftswomanship will be excellent.
I worked on a little swatch bracelet with Dyeabolical Yarn. I really like how the colorway worked out on the bracelet. The ladies from Strings Attached invited us back anytime. They also seemed to really enjoy my mother's non-knitting project. Mom enjoyed meeting local crafty ladies too. One of the ladies, Joey, invited us to an art gallery opening that night which just extended our good time. Thanks mom for inviting me down and reminding me how cool it is to spend time with you.