The staff at the vets knew her as "that scary cat." They could only work on her after she had been knocked unconscious. Any treatment was done very quickly so they could get her in a cage before the anesthetic wore off. This morning they all came through to pay their respect to the cat that always got the "use caution" sticker on her kennel. I heard her howls of anger as they prepared her for the end, it only made me sob harder.
Despite her prickly behavior and aloof demeanor, I loved her very much. She made me work harder to be a good pet parent. I had to learn to give with no expectations of any return of that care. I was her companion, not the other way around and I am humbled by her spirit of independance even to the very end. Her chair, the only thing I think she really loved, sits empty, I will miss the indifferent presence that sat there, not needing anything, but herself to be content.