En Pointe Pullover or Not My Best Project

Over a year ago Natalie came up with a pattern, the En Pointe Pullover by Alice Tang. She loved the pullover and wanted my help knitting one.  She sweetened the pot by purchasing me some silky, Malibrigo Mora for the projects.  I am easily bribed when it comes to yarn.

The first problem was the 100% silk yarn.  It was slippery and knotted up easily.  I kept having to untangled my cakes and re-ball the yarn.  I got frustrated and quickly got tired of the yarn.

Then I started to look at the construction of the pullover and the completed projects on Ravelry.  I noticed this pattern would be flattering on a slender figure, but maybe not so much on a fuller figure like mine. I got kind of depressed about the En Pointe and threw it all in a bag, shoved the bag in a closet and tired to forget it.

Fast forward 9 months and my sock project failed me (or I failed the sock).  Anyway, as I was shoving the failed sock project in the closet the failed pullover fell on me.  Begrudgingly, I thought finish this dratted thing.  I was so self conscious about the flaws in this project I avoided taking it to my knit groups for fear of being ridiculed.

Finally, the project is done.  I did modify the pattern by adding bell sleeves to hopefully make the silhouette a little kinder for my figure.  I will say the silk yarn has a nice drape, but it is not forgiving at the seams or for weaving in ends.

I am hoping with my help Natalie's turns out better than mine.  As for mine done is done!



Returning to the Land of Ponchos

I am in the early stages of planning a return to the Land of Ponchos.  The pattern is picked, the yarn selection is being fondle, and the needle size considered.  Only this time I am taking a small posse of knitters with me.  Cue the theme song from the Good, the Bad, and the Ugly.

Memorial for a Friend

Today I lost one of my oldest friends to cancer.  I met Don when we were 14 and 15 at a speech meet in Belle MO.  We were competing against each other in poetry reading.  Immediately, he introduced himself and asked who I was.  Don had beautiful blue eyes and the warmest smile.  He didn't care that we were competing against each other or that I was from a different school he just cared that I was a new person to know.

 That's just how Don was, he loved meeting new people.  He always wanted to include everyone in everything, no exceptions.  His generosity of spirit believed every person was a new friend.  I never knew him to exclude anyone.  We dated on and off in high school, but truly we were always more friends than a couple.  After high school I ran into Don at a gay bar, which made us both so happy to reconnect.  We stayed in contact over the years even ending up in the same city.  Seeing him was a treat and he always welcomed me with the love of an oldest and dearest of friends.  Again that was how Don was, all of us were old friends he was overjoyed to see.

Today the cancer he has been fighting for the last 2 years finally won the battle.  His baby sister broke the news on Facebook.  We all knew it was coming, but still we all cried as our hearts were breaking.  A world without him in it seems less.  All I can do is cry and remember that warm smile including me in his inner circle of friends.  An inner circle which is legions of friends all heartbroken by his passing.  We will miss you my friend.

Love Jamie

Knitiversary

Today is my 10 year anniversary!  10 years ago I crossed the stockinette bridge to a land of yarnovers, purl bumps, ufos, dpns, and yards and yards of yarn.  I love being a knitter and will schlep my project bags anywhere I go.  The joy of a new pattern or freshly caked skein of yarn thrills me as much as a chocolate cupcake (most days).  I love talking about my projects and bragging about mastering a new technique.  But you know what I love most about entering the clan of knitting?  All the amazing knitters I have encountered along the way.  They are legion and I thank them for knitting me into their community.  Sending out the knitting love.

51 & Holding

Today I turned 51.  It has not been a great year.  With all the bad politics & conservatives trying to turn back the clock and take away equality, it has been rough for this liberal lesbian.  The thing that is getting me through is my beautiful wife. Today for my birthday (51) & our 6 year anniversary she just let me run her day.  We didn't do anything special, but be together.  Sometimes that just makes all the bad stuff seem less.  I am a lucky lady.

Why I Am Afraid

Today we left the safety of our urban environs for a country locale.  After lunch and shopping we scampered back to a more urban area.  While in the country Natalie and I didn't touch, kiss, hold hands, or say I love you at all, but we were watched with open hostility by many around us.  I have not been that uncomfortable in a long time.  We kept asking ourselves was it like this before and we just didn't notice? Or is this new?  I don't know the answer, but it made me afraid.

Done with this week

First there was real family drama.  2nd came the soul crushing results of the election.  My wife had serious problems at work.  I had to break up with a friend,.  Finally, Leonard Cohen died today.  I am so done with this week.

Devastated

One word for how I feel today: devastated.

9 Years & Counting

A very merry Unbirthday to me and my blog.  As of today I have been blogging for 9 years (https://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=6995577290615134533#editor/target=post;postID=6689280161304650187;onPublishedMenu=editor;onClosedMenu=editor;postNum=607;src=postname.)  How crazy is that, I have been keeping up with this for a long time.  Thinking I will try to keep blogging for another year, this time next year I want to say I have been prattling on about my silly self for a decade.  Saluting the milestone.

Still wishing for that perfect tea party.

Hey Girl...

My summer has not been the best. If you have been reading my blog, you know I have been struggling with Mama Drama.  This last week did not improve, and Wednesday night I was visited by my old friend, insomnia.  Somewhere in the night I gave up on sleeping and did some late night shopping.  I am not proud of my late night binge shopping spree, but I own it.  For some reason I always buy bigger after midnight.  Last year I bought a 3 foot diameter mirror, last month I bought a 4 foot finial for our house. 


4 foot finial on roof

Thursday morning on my way to work I confessed the binge to my wife and apologized for the 4 foot finial.  I ended with, "Then I find myself wondering why did I buy size 3X leggings.  By the way the leggings will be arriving next week."

My wife looked at me and said, "You are so going to so rock those leggings."

I love my wife and thank her for the total Ryan Gosling, "Hey, girl" moment.

Long Weekend or Reflection on Through the Looking Glass

I don't know what it is about a 3 day weekend, but why do you always get slammed right before it?  My work week has been crazy busy.  I keep trying to keep up.  As the Red Queen says to Alice in Through the Looking Glass, "My dear, here we must run as fast as we can, just to stay in place. And if you wish to go anywhere you must run twice as fast as that.”  Too true Mr. Carroll.

Freedom

I have noticed that many people spend a great deal of time fussing over what others do during patriotic rituals.  I get it some people think those things are important, okay they are.  However, I always ask myself what is more important the symbols of freedom or the freedom itself?

For example I no longer say the pledge of allegiance to the flag.  I am polite when it is recited, but I stopped participating.  As an agnostic, I do not believe, one nation under God is appropriate.  First I don't believe it and second it feels ridiculous for me to repeat words I don't believe.  Wonderfully, I don't have to say it.  I have the freedom of speech, says so right there in the constitution, and I can refuse to recite the pledge of allegiance.  Thomas Jefferson would  be proud to know that I am exercising my rights.

Now if they ever go back to the original pledge of allegiance to the flag, I will gladly recite that oath anytime.

1892 version

The Letter Says it All

Hawaiian Vacation

Almost 10 years ago my wife and I took my mother to Hawaii for her 65th birthday.  As you can guess Hawaii is one of the prettiest places on the planet.  We saw big cities, small towns, beaches of all colors, volcanos, and of course 8 stunning sunsets and 1 amazing sunrise.  The trip was worth every penny (and that was a lot of pennies) we paid for it. 

Natalie and I at the Hotel in Waikiki.

When I was five I remember telling my mother one day we would go to Hawaii together,  The trip was my way of making good on that promise.  Always one to help me with my goals, Natalie stepped up and paid up for half of the trip.  We planned for a year (and paid for it about that long too).  We made a big surprise out of the trip and for once in my life I think my mother was happy.  The shared memory of that trip was one I have cherished.

Mom and Natalie on Maui

Fast forward 10 years and the trip has become a time before my father's death and the estrangement from my mother.  I have no regrets about the trip, but some of those moments have now become bittersweet.  I miss the woman who accompanied me on that trip and wish I could have some of the essence of that version of my mother back.



Mom and I in Waikiki

The good news is Natalie is still by my side, supporting me through this painful time.  I don't know how I got so lucky to have such a wonderful partner by my side, but I would be lost without her.  Thanking her everyday for picking me to fall in love with.



Natalie in the mouth of the whale on Maui

Heartbroken

Things with my family are deteriorating so deeply I fear they will never be fixed.  My heart is turning to ash in my chest.  I can only work through this and hope I come out healed when all the bad words have been said.  Wishing for a better tomorrow.

My Poor Blog

I have been so wrapped up in family drama I haven't been blogging.  I doubt anyone wants to hear a dirty laundry list of recriminations.  I need to distance myself from toxic people and not allow their lives taint my own.  I am lucky, I have love in my life and I know myself.  Mantra: rise above it tempest, rise above.

Poor Fashion Choices

The year was 1987, my baby sis is not even a year old.  Fashion was all about animal prints and bi-levels (mullets are what we call them today).  In other words this is a photo about poor fashion choices to which I say, go ahead and laugh I did. 

 

I hope we have both improved with age.

 



Sock it to Me

Lately, I have been knitting socks.  I stopped knitting socks for awhile because I hit a pattern that frustrated me so much that I stopped for awhile.  When I had jury duty in February, I took a new sock project with me to work on while I waited. I have found that no one seems to connect my bamboo size 2 needles with knitting.  In fact one bailiff asked me if I liked crocheting. I just smiled and said yes. However, my last jury duty experience required lots of sitting in court being asked personal questions, not knitting. 

I had my sock pattern, yarn, and needles all ready for some serious knitting all hanging out in a bag waiting for me to notice it.  I decided well heck I have these Mermaid Lagoon socks ready I should just knit them on up.  Once finished with the Mermaid Lagoon socks, I thought heck that was fun, I should knit another pair in this here Charybdis pattern.  And I did.

The Mermaid Lagoon pattern was not particularly hard once I translated the pattern for myself.  The yarn did an interesting color change from turquoise to tan made creating a cool pair of socks.  My only complaint is the pattern was designed for a medium size foot and leg.  My canoes and hefty calves did not love this pattern.  I upped the needle size and it helped, but you know the sock could have been a little roomier.

Mermaid Lagoon Socks

Roominess was in ample supply on the next pair of Charybdis socks I knitted. One of my knit night buddies had clued me in that these socks knitted up big.  I used another color transitioning yarn from my stash which made for interesting socks.  I kind of feel like I am walking around with muddy paws when wearing these socks.  I loved the Charybdis pattern, which is free on Ravelry.  Do want to warn that it knits up big, so do a swatch, the pattern is charted, but can be modified for a smaller foot or leg.

Charybdis Socks

The real problem with hand knitted socks is I have problems wearing them.  They come out so perfect that my clumsy, size 11s don't deserve to wear them.  Working on getting over that real soon.

Queer Pride

Today is a day to remember to be proud.  Proud that you are different, proud that you have spoken your truth, proud you have survived to hold your head high with dignity and command respect.  Today it has been 1 year since the supreme court struck down hateful anti same-sex marriage laws (http://tempestinapot.blogspot.com/2015/06/today-is-day.html), and 47 years since the Stonewall Inn riots.  Today I am proud to look back on the diverse group of dykes, fags, and transvestites who made my life possible.  They are my heroes.  They refused to be put down one more time, they knew they deserved better.  They fought for basic human rights against the status quo.  I can never thank them enough.

Yesterday the place where this struggled became public, the Stonewall Inn, became a National Monument.  The fight for LGBTQ equality which started there will be honored and treasured by a nation.  I can only hope that Harvey Milk's camera shop will also garner recognition as well.  Queer history which is a part of American history will live on for the next generation and for all of this I am proud to be a lesbian.

My Dad was a Farm Boy

My mother has been cleaning out her home and passing on many of her treasures.  Some of those treasures were my dad's.  My dad grew up on a farm and he learned at a young age, 5, to milk cows.  It was a part of his chores everyday to milk the cows.  He would tell a story about how he would squirt the milk at the barn cats and they use there paws to wave the milk into their mouth.  I am still a little skeptical of that story, but who knows it might not be one of his tall tales.



My Dad at 5 getting ready to milk a cow.

One of the things my mom gave me was the kerosene lantern my dad would take with him to the barn every morning. I remember when I was a kid that the lantern would come out when our electricity would go out.  My dad would use the occasion to lecture us on lantern safety and tell us about the time his jacket caught on fire.  He said one of his older brothers saw my dad on fire and threw him on the ground to smother the fire out.  My dad warned us, if we ever caught on fire not to run, but throw yourself down and roll on the fire like his brother had done to him.  He always said his brother saved his life that day because my dad was getting ready to run in panic.

Dietz Kerosene Lantern

That was how my dad was. He was always telling you some story to teach you something or sometimes to pull your leg.  You weren't always sure which one it was.  Regardless, I treasure all those stories now and wish he had told me more.  Miss you Dad.