Wednesday, November 20, 2013

Day 20: And Then it Happened

After Natalie fell asleep, I laid on the floor wishing I had kissed her.  I had been thinking about kissing her for awhile and tonight I had come so close and chickened out.  I kept telling myself she was too drunk and it would be wrong to take advantage of her.  I tried to take solace in doing the right thing, but it was cold comfort as I laid on the floor.

While I laid there fighting with my conscious I heard Natalie thrashing around and wake up.  She called out and I went to the bed to check on her.  I remember holding her and my heart aching to make her feel better.  I kept asking what was bothering her.

I don't know what caused her to finally unburden herself, but she said, "Mollie and I were more than just friends.  We were lovers."  I was a little surprised by the what she was saying.  I truly had no idea they had been more than friends.  Mollie had broken off their relationship at the end of summer and Natalie had been nursing a broken heart.  This information put a whole new light on so many of the things that I had seen.  I assured Natalie it did not change my feelings for her.  In fact it did change my feelings, it made me more driven to kiss her.

Natalie told me more about her relationship and why it failed.  As we talked the conversation moved to our friendship.  I can tell you my heart was racing and before I could stop myself I said, "I want to kiss you."

Natalie took the cue and tried to kiss me just as I moved away.  In the dark her lips only grazed the side of my ear.  Things became very awkward between us, but we continued to sit next to each other embracing.  I remember her hand searching for mine and I felt like I was melting from the inside out.  I finally, told Natalie I had no idea what to do.

Natalie said something which I will not repeat here and then she reached out to kiss me again and this time I did not turn away.  I can remember her lips being so soft on mine.  We did not sleep the rest of the night.  I can also say that twin sized bed of mine could not contain us, we ended up on the floor.  I made Natalie go back to the bed just before my parents got up and I can remember laying there on the floor about to burst with emotions.  To this day we still disagree if January 6th or January 7th is our anniversary.  I say the 7th because it was the wee hour of the morning on that date when we shared our first kissed.

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