Wednesday, November 27, 2013

Day 27: Afterwords

Reviewing the last 26 days of my blog I have re-discovered the women Natalie and I were in our youth.  There have been some surprises in the reminiscing.  I was not surprised by how much we drank.  Trust me I remember way too many hangovers.  I am surprised we did not become statistics every time one of us drove after drinking.  I do remember smoking pot, but I struggled to be honest and confess it to my friends on my blog.  I would like to have glossed over that indiscretion of my misspent youth.   I would also have liked to lied about being a pin wearing sorority girl.  Another sin of my youth.

Some behavior I cannot forgive myself regardless of my age.  I am by nature a selfish person.  Knowing Natalie has taught me to be a better person, change is not without difficulty.  Even now I sometimes make missteps.  Randy who has stayed a friend throughout my life was hurt by some of things I wrote.  In my selfish quest to be honest I did not respect that part of my story is his story as well.  I can only apologize and hope to one day make-up for not being a better friend.

My gratitude also goes out to everyone for all of the positive feedback I have received while telling our tale.  Your kindness and support helped me to continue on a few nights when I wanted to just knit instead of blog.  Natalie's sister, Rachal, was especially encouraging as she read every post almost as soon as it went up. 

This project has ran the gamut of emotions for me, from comedy to semi-tragedy.  But one thing has stood out among all the other feelings, my love for Natalie.  She manages to bring out those qualities which are the best parts of me.  Everyday as I thought about what I was going to write, I thought about her, the things I wanted to share about this amazing woman, and in the process I fell in love with her all over again.  Of course I have found with Natalie I fall in love with her again every time she looks at me and gives me that pirate smile.

Natalie and I Circa 1990

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