Thursday, November 19, 2009

Day Nineteen:Gratitude

Tonight Beloved Cuz and I went to dinner and then went home and watched The Botany of Desire. Like most good documentaries it inspired us to talk on subjects like evolution, politics, responsibility, and memory. As we philosophized I pondered what would be my daily gratitude. I kept coming back to the thought of memory and how it is so vital to me that I remember the important and the minutia of my life. I catalogue, cross-reference, and archive these reminiscences in my mind like priceless manuscripts. My sense of self is so inextricably tied to these precious strings of synapse in my brain.

I was about to shuck this idea, how can a person be grateful for memory and then I made a cup of hot tea. There it was on the flap of my Celestial Seasonings, the reason to be grateful for my memories.

Oft in the stilly night Ere Slumber's chain has bound me, Fond Memory brings the light Of other days around me --Thomas Moore

On dreary days like today, I can remember better times on sunlit beaches, walks holding hands with my parents while my sandals slapped on the pavement, and sharing stolen kisses with my wife on a deserted dock in Rockaway Beach. All available to me whenever I need them to cope with the drama of my day. I can hit play and while solving the problems of the world for a cranky customer, I can emotionally separate myself and relive a more pleasant moment in life.

Memory can be tricky. Somethings are better forgotten and I lack control to filter out the bad memories, but I will keep them all for the memories of my grandmothers, my first kiss, learning to knit, and the first time I saw my wife. I am grateful that I remember, always grateful.

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