My job, my dad, and my own very special set of neuroses, along with the minutiae of my daily life overwhelm me. Everything compounds until I hit a spiral of negative energy that just tears me down. Realizing that I am struggling to make it through my days, I started going to a therapist. I know, judge me if you will, but I am trying to make sense of all this noise and not be so miserable. Recently, I pretty much said to my therapist, "I hate my life."
She responded with, "You should keep a Gratitude Notebook."
I laughed in the poor woman's face. I laughed and laughed, until I got to my car and then I cried and cried. With introspection and a little notebook next to my bed, I have been keeping a gratitude notebook. I try to write two things in it every night, on bad days I go back and review what I have been grateful for in the past. It amazes me how grateful I am for food and woodchucks. An idea developed what if I kept a daily gratitude on flickr or blogspot. After some more realistic introspection, I decided to try to be virtually grateful for a month. November being the month of Thanksgiving, I decided to find one thing everyday that makes my day a little better.
Today, day one, I am grateful for my father. If you have been reading my blog you know that my dad has been fighting the good fight against pancreatic cancer. This time last year we thought my dad would be gone now. His chances on making it to another year were slim, and the doctor had even told him, that cancer had the better odds; take that doctor. My dad is still here, still working, still riding his motorcycle, and still generally being my dad. If I fail at the whole blogging everyday task, I will still have at least that one thing I am grateful for, my dad. Everyday, with him now is gravy. I love gravy.